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quiet mornings
 its so very quiet and peaceful this morning. it feels so amazing sometimes to hear absolutely nothing at all. as far as rest, i was able to sleep a bit. i'm still waking up feeling very disoriented and  groggy. i've read so many blogs about stopping cymbalta. It's strange to me how strong of a grip this medication has had upon me. I'm still very, very dizzy, easily confused, having trouble putting sentences together, and extremely nauseous. I feel so sick even every time i even think about any particular food. I know i must stay on track though, and keep my focus as best as possible. I'm hoping better days are just around the bend, before i am once more in my life, to break.

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i'm not sure yet if i will accept anything to replace it. i've got to try to take less and less medication. My kidneys are starting to show the wear and tear of all of the medications i've been on over the years. i have taken lamictal, but i had to immediately stop because i had an allergic reaction to it. i'm very glad to hear he is much happier now. I hope these continue to work well for him.

how was your holiday weekend? i hope you and your family have had a great independence day =]

I tried lamictal, but actually I was breastfseeding the first baby then and he is the one who got the rash... that was back when I wads having major problems and was actively and desperately searching for any akternative to lithium. The amount of knowledge I have about lithium allows me to shoot down all the heavy, arrogant campaigns from doctors who seem to be positive it would work for me. I am glad that it's been a little easier the past year and my GP prescribes for me and respects my decisions.

The weekend was frustrating. I am having such mixed feelings about my art exhibit being open to the public. It is such h a vulnerable feeling. Despite the overwhelming positive buzz, its still left me raw. And nearning the end now the annxiety is cranking up and financial repercussions for framing everything are just making me feel like a failure.

How is your weekend? Sort it took me a while to reply. I always want to have time to write a meaningful reply to you, but that's difficult lately.


Edited at 2010-07-11 12:47 pm (UTC)

Hey! i was gonna ask how exhibit went. I can understand how you would feel very vulnerable. It's something that must be very personal to you and i imagine it would feel like having strangers peer into your mind. You, in no way, are a failure. Being able to take emotions and ideas and transfer them so efficiently into paintings is a victory in itself from my point of view. My weekend has been up and down, but has finished on a higher note thankfully. I went to see a doctor on friday. I have sinus infection, but the antibiotics are helping more and more with each day. I think the cymbalta is finally getting out of my system. It's been one hell of a wild ride trying to get it out of my body. I'm feel so alive and vibrant right now, which isn't always a good thing for me. I fear i may be on too much of an upswing and i really, really hope i don't crash as hard as i often do. Time will tell if ending cymbalta will be as great for me as it seems to be at the moment. As for writing me, no need to apologize if it takes you longer at times. I'm certain your schedule is quite busy. I truly appreciate hearing from you though. It really means so much to me having someone to chat with now and then on these subjects. It's as if those of us who are affected by these things speak our own unique language. I look forward to what i feel can be a great friendship. wow, that sounds so cheesy lol.

I hope your anxiety subsides very soon and calmer seas are ahead.
Hugs and well wishes for the coming week


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