- where to even begin
- July 15th, 2010
going from one extreme to another, well...it's never a good thing. i've had rapid cycling before, but i'm finding it hard to maintain a stable mood for even up to an hour. my head is so full of negative remarks i am hearing. if i try to fight it, if i try to think positively about myself, it just gets stronger ans louder each time as it pulls me back down below. i'm most definitely in bend but don't break mode right now. i just don't want to be me. do you ever just hate yourself for simply existing? every choice i choose, every option i can come up with in my mind, is wrong right now. i feel like just crawling into bed and try to escape my reality. feeling so worthless and pointless is a feeling that sickens me deep within my being. it feels like a virus coursing through my body, with no end in sight.